Some local knowledge..

To try at the pub (next time I make it to the pub, that is).

I got a bit confused with something the other day that eventually got explained to me by a long-term visitor to the Middle East.

Names in the Middle East (specifically Arabic names) are a very variable thing. Normally, you have the given name, followed by the father's name, his father's name, then sub-tribe name (if any), then major tribal name. What was confusing me was the use of the "Abu" name. Abu means, roughly, "father of". So if you're a father of a kid named John, you'd be "Abu John", which is a valid way of identifying yourself in Arabic culture. What I didn't understand was that it can also be used if you don't have kids. For instance, if you have a large moustache, you could be called "Abu (whatever the arabic word for moustache is)", which would translate literally as "father of moustaches", or, less literally, "big moustache". My depraved brain started clicking with this info. Imagine going into a pub and introducing yourself as "Abu Willie", or referring to that guy you don't like as "Abu Prat". There's a female version of this too, Umm or Oma (depending on who's translating). So Jordan could be "Umm Falsies", or that flat chested girl in the office could be "Umm No Tits".